On certainty

I recently started reading a book by Keith Abraham, called 'It Starts With Passion: Do What You Love and Love What You Do'. I quickly found myself falling in love with it, primarily because it relates so much to my present circumstance and seems to provide me with the answers I need. Here's an excerpt: 

Recognising that you have so many opportunities, the key is not picking the right one but connecting with your heart. The solution, if you are unclear, is to follow your heart. Forget about what you think is the 'right' goal; focus on the goal that is screaming out at you to pursue it. When you follow your heart, success, money, love and joy will follow you. Take the money out of the equation. What does your heart tell you to do or pursue?

Do you understand, they can never pay you enough money to do the stuff you hate to do? The money is great, but you are still miserable. Someone once said: "What causes an ulcer is not what you have eaten, but what's eating you!"

How do you follow your heart? First, write down all the opportunities you currently have. Ask yourself, if each opportunity involved making the same amount of money, which one would give you the greatest joy? Which one would you love to do most? Rank them from the greatest joy to the least joy. Then stop and meditate on the list by being still and listening to your intuition. Finally, note down the opportunity you connect with the most. 

We all make mistakes but for me, rather than focusing on what could have been or should have been, I ask myself what I learned from it and what I would do differently next time. I also carry one thought in my mind when I reflect: everything is perfect! Even if it was not the perfect outcome, what could I learn that will better equip me for the future? When I look at it that way, everything is perfect.

As Abraham so aptly put, certainty stems from the ability to create clarity, because with clarity comes greater confidence in your ability to produce the results you want, and with that confidence comes a level of consistency that leads to certainty. It's not about being perfect; it is about making progress. Too often we wait until everything is perfect before we begin, and by which time... It's too late. So, it's not about picking the 'right' choice, but rather, making a decision and making it right for you. Ultimately, we ought to remember, it is only an opportunity if you take advantage of it. ;)

living life on the edge

Recently had one of the most amazing trips back to Sydney (#myhappyplace) for my graduation! Still missing every bit of it. Being back there was one of the most refreshing feelings ever, swamped with an overwhelming sense of familiarity and comfort of being back at a place I've grown to know so well and now call my second home. 

I'll be putting together a video very soon, but in the meantime, here's what I got up to while in Sydney ;)

I've certainly had a lot on my mind these past few days. Been willing myself to make a concrete decision on what I'm gonna do next. Sometimes I just wish I had all the answers. But you know, that doesn't happen and things don't just get handed to you on a silver platter. That's what makes successes all the sweeter, right? I know I'm someone who's very driven by the things that make me happy, but everything's got to have a purpose somehow. Once I find that, I'm pretty much set.

I've been told that we all have to start somewhere. We don't just expect to get gifted things, as though they were meant to be ours. Nothing is ever for certain, and what's yours can easily slip away. I think why people so often fear making the wrong decisions is because they know they've a long way ahead of them and a long path to carve out. Once the fork turns the wrong way, it's hard to rewind and go back. But precisely because we have a long way ahead of us, we shouldn't lose sight of who we are. And precisely because we have a long way ahead of us, we shouldn't be afraid to venture into new things. And remember, your life is what you make of it. Isn't it? After all, we still have a lot to learn.

Acting 101: To be or not to be?

The best acting exercises are always the ones that push you to your limits. You're not just exploring a character different from yourself, but you're delving deep into their thoughts, their appearance, their actions. As training or warm-up, these are my personal favourites:

1. Imagine yourself as a character completely different from what you would usually portray. If you're usually a loud person, how would you act as a mute or as someone with down syndrome? If you're usually a more reserved person, how would you act as a noisy market auntie or as a drug addict? 

By immersing yourself into the thoughts and actions of this character, you're able to bring them to life. Another really useful tip I learnt is to incorporate real-life characteristics. The slow breathing, or the swallowing of saliva after a lengthy sentence, taking the time to sigh or pause in between sentences. These help to create a more realistic and natural character.

2. Imagine yourself as another person. Now, think about the 'what ifs'. What if I were this person? What if this event happened to me? How would I react; what would I say and do? What if you met this person? What would he/she be like? 

Once you've brought yourself into the thoughts and world of this character, naturally enough, you'll become this character.

3. The psychological. This makes use of your imagination and the mind. How would you respond if you faced a classroom full of people criticising you and making you feel really lousy about yourself? They call you stupid, hopeless, good for nothing, and bit by bit these voices build up until it all becomes a blur. How do you react? What would you feel? Does your breathing get heavier? 

Remember these very moments when your heart seems to have stopped for a moment; when your heart is racing so fast, it feels like it's about to fall out of your chest; when you realised you lost something important and you're panicking; when you heard terrible news and you are on the verge of falling apart. Remember how these emotions felt, what you did, how you responded, and recreate these with each character and scene that you're given.

I hope this was a useful read for you. Comment below if you have any other tips that work for you! :)

dreamy spaces: Ann Hamilton cloud swings

When I'm bored or simply in need of some inspiration, I like looking at massive art installations or dreamy exhibition interiors. Even if just for a moment, it sends a rush of excitement through me - the thought of just being able to be in that very space or enjoying what these other visitors are going through. My latest love is the Ann Hamilton Park Avenue Armory cloud swings. 42 swings attached to a curtain floats in the middle of the space, swaying lightly with the movement of each swing, and creating a beautiful rhythm. 

After an exhilarating week and the best way to end the weekend, the past few nights have been fairly sleepless ones. Realigning my goals again, considering my options and thinking about where to venture into next. What's best? Will I regret not doing this now? What do I have to lose? lots to think about... I'd sooner lose myself in this dream and dance of the cloud swings.

On dreams and dust / late-night thought post

Macau 2014 on Christmas day with my sister

I keep wondering if somehow, beyond all the pristine white flakes of snow and the mist in the air, there lies something ahead of us that is much more daunting, and far greater than we'd ever imagined.

I never dared to step beyond the balcony because I feared that I wouldn't be able to withstand the height of the fall. What if I lost my footing? What if I fell into the river? Could I withstand the cold? What if, what if, what if… 

They all wanted the best for me. To be able to see me rise up in the castle on the other side of the fence and tell the world, I did it. But I was one who was extremely cautious. I calculated every move, every step of the way, like following the trail of seeds back to the mousetrap. There was no looking back once I'd stepped beyond the fence.

After months of mapping out my route, I reached the edge of the balcony. I convinced myself, that this was a wise decision. All I had to do was take a leap of faith. And when I take that step, all that matters is that I took the step forward.

My head spun as I took in all the words, the sights and the sounds a last time. The wind churned, gathering snowflakes my way, threatening to push me over the edge any minute now. A voice inside my head chanted, Everything you want is on the other side of fear.

So I closed my eyes, and I jumped.

It's time to live the dream

I think sometimes, I forget how lucky I am to be doing what I'm doing. But there's this thing about being human that… Sometimes good just isn't enough, and you constantly crave more. And when you do, the insatiable hunger never stops. You just want to keep moving, and moving, until finally you realise… You're lost. Have you been too busy craving that you've missed out all these other things and forgotten to appreciate the present in the process?

I really wanted to leave this post with a flood of pictures and let the pictures do the talking, because nothing I say at this point will coherently word this jumble of thoughts piled up in my mind. 

Perhaps this set of pictures will allow you to get to know me better. But I guess what I want to say is, it's okay to dream. It's okay to chase after the things that you love because you only live once. And if you live it right, then once is certainly enough.

It's time to live the dream.

On a journey of self-discovery

My sister's graduation (2013)

I still recall vividly sitting down for my sister's graduation ceremony just over a year ago, watching these graduates pile into the auditorium as the lights shone on their confident faces. They were ready -more than ever - to face the world. Fast forward to the present, and it's almost my turn to go for my graduation ceremony. 

In the blink of an eye, all those years spent studying our nights away, frantically penning our essays, rehearsing for presentations - they're gone. Now, we enter the workforce. And the question is, what are we going to do for the rest of our lives?

It's a funny thing. I woke up at 3am last night, my mind racing with thoughts on planning the latest event at work. Fire, drills, police. And I thought, is work really taking over my life? I couldn't fall back to sleep for the next few hours and so I grabbed a book, took my laptop and went downstairs. So many thoughts passed through my mind: Am I doing the right thing? What is the right thing? Am I happy doing this? Why, why not? What should I do?

Stop. Why was I even thinking about it? 

The thing with jobs and careers and mid-life crises is, you never really know what you're going to do. And even when you think you've got your life sorted out, there's a nagging part of you that says, no, you're still not there yet. So take a leap of faith, go on that holiday with your friends you've always wanted, take the entire weekend by yourself and invest your time in things that matter to you, go abroad and study if that's what you've always wanted. Do what makes you happy.

And if projects on the side are an effective way for you to figure out where your interests lie, why not endeavour to finish a book a week or watch a movie a month? Perhaps even spend 100 days speaking to 100 different strangers?

Life is too short to be thinking about the what-ifs, and we might as well do as many things as we can. In the time we've spent thinking about all these things, we could have ticked off one of the tasks on our to-do list. 

And now as I embark on this path myself, I urge you to think about the things that truly matter to you. I recently read an article that asked, 'What would you not believe if I told you what your life would be like in the future?' Find the answer, write it down, and make it happen. Yes, I understand that there are practical limitations and life doesn't always go the way we want it to. But with a bit of faith and an unwavering readiness to take on the world, anything is possible. 

I leave you with a quote that inspired this post:

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." 

-Howard Thurman 

And I hope you never stop dreaming.